


Freezer Burn

by complaining_is_cathartic



Series: Works that I say might become multi-chapter, but probably won't [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Author is salty, Gen, I have so many feels for Tony, I swear I'm not Anti-Cap, One-Shot, Post-Civil War, Steve Rogers Has Issues, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony-centric, it's just
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-06-30 22:18:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15760839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/complaining_is_cathartic/pseuds/complaining_is_cathartic
Summary: Tony doesn’t remember how this argument started. He doesn’t remember if he was trying to be civil or if it began with screaming. He doesn’t even remember how he bumped into Steve. But, right now, he doesn’t care. All he cares about is the pandora box of hurt in his heart that, until now, he didn’t touch with a ten-foot pole. But of course, Rogers just had to fucking push and push and push.





	Freezer Burn

**Author's Note:**

> Before I start on this (slightly salty) fic, I just want to let you peeps know that I AM NOT ANTI-CAP. I understand his reasons, even if I don’t agree with them. And while I believe that some of his actions were uncalled for, I also know that Tony didn’t react well. The biggest reason that this sounds like anti-cap is that I’m writing from Tony’s perspective. That being said, I have a lot of pent-up emotions from Civil War, and I’m hurting for Tony, so I NEEDED to write this. 
> 
> Kk, enjoy. 
> 
> BTW, this is inspired by like every single post-Civil War fic I’ve ever read. Some big ones being Secondhand Pain by buffypeppers, Illuminate Me by Half_SubmergedinPurgatory, and Black and Gold by OctaviaPeverell.

Tony doesn’t remember how this argument started. He doesn’t remember if he was trying to be civil or if it began with screaming. He doesn’t even remember how he bumped into Steve. But, right now, he doesn’t care. All he cares about is the pandora box of _hurt_ in his heart that, until now, he didn’t touch with a ten-foot pole. But of course, ~~Steve~~ Rogers just had to fucking push and push and _push_.

They were in the kitchen, Tony facing ~~Steve~~ _Rogers_ , a steaming cup of coffee in his hands. Steve had a pathetic look on his face, shoulders slumped.

“Tony, about...you know. I just…”

“Just what?” Tony couldn’t control the way his temper flared or the way his voice shook (with ~~sadness~~ _rage_ ), and he hated it―hated that Rogers could make him slip up like this. “It doesn’t _matter_ , Rogers. I’m _over_ it.”

The man, ever the soldier, straightens up as if getting ready for a blow.

Tony can’t help but flash back to _the fight_ . (“ _Did you know?”_ )

“Well, clearly, you’re not.”

The genius puffs up, defensive. “Well, _clearly_ , you’re looking too hard!” He barely bites back a snarl.

“Tony, please,” Rogers continues on, missing the obvious hint to _back off_ , his voice delicate as if handling a scared animal. “We were both doing what we thought was best for the world and―”

“Are you _fucking_ kidding me?!” Tony laughs, his voice just bordering on hysteric. “ _Bullshit_ , Rogers. At the first mention of your little boy-toy―”

“ _Don’t_ call him that―”

Tony ignores him. “―any thoughts about protecting the world went to shit.” He’s gesturing everywhere, spilling scalding coffee onto his hands, but he doesn’t care. “Don’t you see, you self-righteous _prick_.” This time, Tony doesn’t hold back his snarl. “This wasn’t even about the accords or whatever other bullshit excuses you come up with; this was about _Bucky_.”

St- _Rogers_ just sighs.

Tony sneers. “You’re not even going to refute me, are you?”

Rogers twitches as if wanting to move forward, but knowing he can’t.  

A cruel, twisted part of Tony revels in his hesitation. _Good_.

“Tony, I want…” Rogers slumps again, running his hand through his hair. “I just want to _help_ you… Help you to, I don’t know, get past this.” He keeps looking everywhere but at Tony.

Tony narrows his eyes, setting his coffee down on the counter. He clenches and unclenches his fists, just _staring_ at Rogers. His lips curl into an unstable smile. “You know what, Cap!” Tony chirps, voice cheery. “You were right! I’m _not_ over it. But you know what else?”

The soldier shakes his head, an unsettling feeling in his gut.

Tony is outright grinning right now. “I’m _never_ going to get over it! _Never_ .” All his strings and tethers _snap_ , and a flood of repressed words and curses, anger and hurt tear out of his mouth. “Are you stupid?” He laughs, blinking away the sting of unshed tears. “Did you think a fucking, ‘Oh, I’m sorry Tony! I’m here for you whenever!’ would all of a sudden get rid of the fucking _trauma_ that I have?” Frazzled, Tony paces around tugging at his hair and looking down, lost in his mind.

Rogers starts to say something (what that something is, he’s not sure), but Tony bulldozes on.

“You _slammed_ your shield into my chest, _Rogers_! Into my _fucking_ arc reactor!” _Into my heart_ , Tony doesn’t say. (He thinks the soldier hears it, anyway.) “And fine. Fucking _fine_. You were protecting Barnes, whatever. I _get it_.” The shattered man abruptly stops, turning his slitted gaze towards Rogers once more. “But then you left me. And you didn’t even tell anyone, did you?” Tony lets out a weak snort. “You and your fucking image.”

 _You left me_ echoes in Rogers’ head, and he, Captain America, a national icon, America’s Golden Boy, a soldier, a _hero_ , freezes to the spot, because the truth is, he doesn’t know why he left Tony there either. He has nightmares about it: seeing Tony’s terrified stare, face bloody, as he smashes the shield into Tony’s, his _friend’s_ , chest. Sometimes Tony withers away before his eyes, skin turning blue as cold seeps in through the genius’ suit. Other times, he dreams of getting a call on the flip-phone, but not to ask for help, to invite him to a funeral…Tony’s funeral.

Rogers’ own eyes become watery as he meets Tony’s scrutiny, and Tony rips his gaze away, feeling exposed and vulnerable. A brief silence encompasses the room.

“You left me…as if I were nothing to you.” Tony’s voice is small. “Nothing.” The fight dissipates from his body, and he leans on the counter. “I was so cold, _Steve_. I’m still so cold.” Tony stares at nothing, eyes vapid and lifeless. “I lied there with cracked ribs and a shattered heart. And all I could feel was the cold creeping into my veins, seeping through the breaks and tears.”

Steve is silent. In all their time of knowing each other, Tony has never been this honest. _Never_. (In a tiny, ignored part of Steve’s mind, he knows that Tony will never be this honest with him again.)

“Don’t you get it?” Tony whispers, breathing out each word. “There is ice in my veins, in my heart, in my very _core_.”

His next words break Steve.

“And it’s all because of _you_.”

**Author's Note:**

> Stuff I did while writing this fic:  
> \- “The man, ever the soldier, straightens up as if getting ready for a blow.”  
> My mind: But not the good kind, if you know what I mean. ;)
> 
> \- “All his strings and tethers snap―”  
> My mind: Instantly, like Thanos’ fingers. 
> 
> \- Every time Cap did something  
> My mind: Steve―frick, no, wait. ROGERS. (Seriously, some of those almost-Steves were me correcting myself and turning it into Tony correcting himself)
> 
> \- “Other times, he dreams of getting a call on the flip-phone, but not to ask for help, to invite him to a funeral…Tony’s funeral.“  
> My mind: Haha, I bet Tony could really put the “fun” in funeral. 
> 
> \- “ ‘I was so cold, Steve.’ “  
> My mind: Lol. Probably from Steve’s cold shoulder. Ba-dum-tss.
> 
> OKAY. You guys, that ice part is DEFINITELY based off another fic, but I read it so long ago that I just can’t remember which one. So, if that part rings a bell to you, can you tell me what story you’re thinking of so I can see if it’s the same one?


End file.
